Batatas

Today I read that in 2013 the average American consumed 147 pounds of potatoes - but a paltry seven pounds of sweet potatoes. And I also read that sweet potatoes rank first as the most nutritious of all vegetables, and by a long shot. How can this be?
I suspected that the reason was because of something spiteful in our history, a myth-ful way of thinking that we have been continuing, long beyond its usefulness. I was right. 

So God visits Adam and Eve and says, "I'll provide you with a food that is delicious, nutritious, and easy to grow.
It's versatile, too. Young children and the elderly (both pre- and post-teeth) can eat it easily. Even animals can eat this. It costs next to nothing, and can feed the millions. One day it will be the state vegetable of North Carolina. And soon thereafter scientists at a fine university in that same state will create bio-fuel from it. You could call it manna from heaven. All for you, because I love you."

Eve asked God, "What is it?"

And God said, "Sweet potatoes." 

Eve turned white as a sheet, and looked at Adam with a look of alarm. She said, "I'd rather eat french fries at McDonalds."

And God said, "I guess you didn't hear me. You can julienne it, cube it, mash it, or dice it. You can pan fry it as fritters, or deep fat fry it to make fries. Sauté it with kale and onions, boil it and mash it. Add it to salads or stew, or you can throw it in an oven. You can even leave it overnight in the embers of a fine bonfire. Eat it plain or with butter or maple syrup."

You should have seen Adam and Eve's faces as they tried to reconcile sweet potatoes with the vast array of cooking options being spouted off by God. Without a pause He continued. "Holy Smokes, Eve, you can purée it or make a delicate soup out of it. Adam, you can chip it, dry it, and ground it into flour and make dinner rolls with it. It makes a great juice, and you can even ferment the juice. Why, you could …"

Eve interrupted, "I am not comfortable with the way this conversation is going." Adam nodded.

"... Or you can combine the juice with the juice of a lime to dye cloth."

Adam spoke at last, "Really, Father, you've gone too far. I don't buy it. No single food can be so versatile. Plus kale and fermented foods make me feel sick. I think your sweet potato rant is hiding something shady."

"Shady!" God exclaimed, "The only thing shady about sweet potatoes is that their roots provide a nice habitat for fish in aquariums. They clean ammonia and nitrates from the water. Their vines are so pretty and green. They grow all around the aquarium, making a lovely living planter. Good feng shui. And you can even eat the leaves! "

Adam and Eve looked at each other with that "Father's gone crazy again" look. Then Adam commented, "I don't mean to be disrespectful, Dad, but I meant 'shady' - like it gives me the creeps to think about eating it. And thinking about vines that have consumed fish poop is really gross." 

"Sweet potatoes are really anything but gross, Son. Have you seen the pretty alternating heart-shaped and oval-shaped leaves? And the vine is so easy to propagate. Just cut up last year's tubers into pieces and plant them deep in the soil. And there you have it: next year's crop!" 

Neither Adam nor Eve was moved a whit. Adam spoke, "I ain't grown' 'em. They don't save anyway."

God replied, "That's cause you rush to wash up the potatoes to get the dirt off of them. Moisture promotes spoilage. You should be hardening them off in a dark, dry, cool place - and wait to clean them till it's time to cook 'em. That way mold won't set in. They can last months, y'all." 

No response.

"Okay," God sighed, "Let's shift gears. I didn't want to tell you about this, but now I'm feeling obligated to tell you the Truth about the future of sweet potatoes. I wanted to spare you from the knowledge of suffering that is going to happen when times get rough economically. But, I guess I can't protect you any more. Come sit beside me, children, and listen up."

They gathered around God's throne. "There will be time periods when many people will be hungry. Children and adults alike will suffer from malnourishment, but the children's plight will break your heart. The situations will be dire, and parents will find themselves desperate to feed their family in whatever way they can manage. They'll serve milk toast for breakfast and sugar sandwiches for dinner, hardly what the body needs. Folks will suffer from rickets. Sweet potatoes can fix that. They will be one of the few available subsistence crops that is both cheap and nourishing, and the lucky ones will eat lots of them. It's funny, though, when times finally get better, folks will turn their backs on sweet potatoes, trying to forget the difficult times. That's why I'm telling you about it now. If you can get on board, maybe one day folks will get past those painful associations and see the sweet potato for what it is, the most nutritious of vegetables."

"Do you really think that one crop could save all those people?" asked Eve.

"This crop produces more pounds of food per acre than any other cultivated plant. And you can grow it just fine in your own garden." God continued. "It's the naturally occurring sugars and complex carbohydrates that will save the day. Add to that an abundance of vitamins A, B6, C, and E. And then there's the niacin, folic acid, and the amino acid thiamine.

"Eve, your eyes are glazing over. You know, you are looking a little pale these days; I think you could use some more iron in your diet. Sweet potatoes are rich in iron. Plus all the potassium, calcium and copper … these nutrients will make your body both strong and healthy ... And Adam, it's a fabulous source of plant fiber that I guarantee will make you regular again. Eve, it can help with that depression you've both been feeling lately. You'll feel like a new woman."

Eve slumped even further. "Can't we just have white potatoes instead? They are so fluffy and taste so good. I just love them every day with lots of butter and sour cream. They seem so pure and filling."

"OMG, Eve, have you looked at your thighs lately? Think about it. I'm giving you a healthy alternative. And sweet potatoes have so much beta-carotene it will make your eyes glow." God's passion radiated from Him like the sun.

Adam, allured by the idea of glowing eyes, tempted Eve. "Hey Eve, what if we mash 'em up real good and put lots of marshmallows and brown sugar on 'em. We could bake 'em in your new casserole dish. For sure that would remind us of how thankful we are for the abundance of our harvest."

Eve's resolve began to soften. "Well, that sounds sweet. I bet it would taste like candy. And you know how I love candy. Okay, I'm in, as long as we eat it only once a year … remember my thighs!" They stood up.

And so a compromise was reached, and that's how sweet potatoes became a favorite dish at holiday gatherings.

God smiled. Cause He knew that He'd saved the sweet potato. And He knew that His people would one day wake up and smell the fragrance of sweet potatoes cooking in the kitchen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And that the bellies of His children would be filled with satisfying, nutritious food, even during hard times. 

And God said it was Good ... "Delicious, even."